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How Can Counselling Help Me?

Counselling takes place in a safe, boundaried, non-judgmental space, as I can appreciate what a massive and courageous step it is to seek help for something that is often very misunderstood. I consider what I do as an absolute privilege and am greatly respectful of the trust clients place in me. I appreciate how difficult it can be to share intimate information with someone you don’t really know, especially if you’ve never had therapy before.

consulting roomSessions are completely confidential, although I will explain limits to this when we do an assessment. Counselling will involve tools and practical steps to take to overcome compulsive behaviours and to develop a healthier relationship with sex.

 

This will be done alongside psychoeducation so that you can understand and recognise harmful patterns of behaviours. This will involve noticing triggers so as to intercept and avoid damaging acting out. This extends to a deeper psychotherapy in exploring what has led to your compulsive behaviours.

 

Counselling needs to feel safe and empowering and in this I am committed to helping you in your emotional distress. Together we will help you identify underlying causes and help you to find healthier ways of coping.

 

It is definitely possible to be helped if you are prepared to make the commitment. There is no need to suffer alone anymore.

 

My consulting room is in a quiet leafy street (BH8) with ample free parking, 5 minutes from bus routes and 15 minutes from Bournemouth train station. Disabled access.

Why have counselling?

woman-during-psychotherapyHave you noticed that your problems have begun to affect your daily life and are impacting functioning at work, your relationships, your health or finances? You may be feeling stressed, anxious and exhausted from compulsive sexual behaviours that feel out of control.

 

The problem is not necessarily about the activities you are engaging in, rather it’s if what you are doing feels out of control. You may have tried to stop before but can’t permanently. What you do may be escalating such that you are spending more and more time planning, engaging in and then recovering from your acting out. This is the difference between the addict and the non-addict.

Some reasons to come for counselling:

 

  • Compulsive use of pornography
  • Compulsive masturbation
  • Chat rooms and online sex
  • Having many affairs
  • Prostitution
  • Fetishes
  • Exhibitionism
  • Voyeurism
  • Dangerous sexual practises
  • Illegal sexual practices

Compulsive sexual behaviours are used to deal with your emotional pain, to distract and to anesthetise underlying pain. It’s how you cope with the world. Just as an alcoholic drowns the noise in their heads with alcohol; or drugs allow someone to forget their low self-esteem; or as a gambler distract themselves by focussing on their next big win. It’s also common to find you struggle with more than one addiction.

If your behaviours are causing emotional, relational, health, financial and possibly illegal problems in your life, then it’s time to take action, to regain control.

Therapy helps you to:

 

UNDERSTAND more about your issues

 

ASSESS the exact nature of your struggles

 

STRATEGIES to put more helpful behaviours in place

How do I know if I need help, or someone in my life has a problem?

CLICK HERE to complete a self-assessment tool, used with kind permission from ATSAC.